We all live lives divided. We have two people within us, each vying for control. One is the person we think we should be, who says and does what is safe and expected. The other is the person we long to be, the one who lives a life beyond our wildest dreams. We fear we cannot ever be that person, so instead we fall back on what we usually do, on what we think we are supposed to do.
The person you long to be is who you really are. Do you wish you were more adventurous, more daring, more outgoing? Then that is your true self, and the side of you that turns away from risk is a mask. Do you want to be creative, or strong, or nurturing? You would not wish for it if it was not already inside you, fighting for your attention.
Does your true self feel far away, impossible to cultivate? Begin with something small. Start slowly; allow yourself to practice being who you were meant to be. One of the happiest days of my life was when I decided to simply accept that I was who I wanted to be, that all the qualities I longed for were already mine. I began by pretending that was true, by acting as if I was the person I most wanted to be. The role fit like a glove. I found that, once you begin, it is surprisingly easy to be who you really are.
The only trick is this–you cannot force yourself into a role you (or others) think you “should” play. It will not fit; it will not make you feel happy, peaceful or free. But when you play the role that is authentic to you, you find yourself growing into your dreams.
Would you be happy? Then love where you are now. Not later. Not yesterday. Not if only something was different. Now, as it is, in all its imperfect perfection.
Wherever you are, however you feel, there is something to love. And when you focus on that, rather than on what you think is wrong, you allow your awareness of love and beauty to grow.
When we focus on the love and beauty that is in front of us, we stop sending our energy into the past or future. We do our part and let the Universe do the rest. We accept the abundance. We get out of the way.
The future is not under our control. But in this moment, we have a choice. We can appreciate what is, or we can push it away. What will you choose?
Trust love. Know that all you have is all you need, and that if what you want does not appear, it is because something better will. The shadows of the past and future are not real, but this moment is. This moment is sacred. Choose to fill it with love.
It was the windiest day I’ve ever seen. I was driving through Winslow, Arizona with my mother, sister and aunt. This was not a usual windstorm–the wind was so powerful that the air was thick with dust, trees were bent over and the interstate was shut down. We were stuck, in a town that seemed to offer nothing but wind. Businesses were boarded up, gas stations abandoned. What was once a thriving railway stop was now empty, all but deserted.
We were tired, hungry and thirsty. The wind buffeted the sides of the car so fiercely that staying where we were did not feel safe. Yet we did not know where to go. That was when I saw a sign, an arrow pointing towards “The Turquoise Room.”
Most of the town’s restaurants and shops appeared to be closed; there was no way to know that this one would be any different. But I have always loved the shades of blue and green, turquoise most of all. These colors call to me, sing to me. So I asked my mother, who was driving, to follow the sign. It led us to a beautiful old hotel, housing a restaurant and bar called the Turquoise Room. It was a place of beauty within the windstorm. A place of peace. We settled in, and were served food and drinks just before the electricity died. As we enjoyed our meal by candlelight, a friendly waiter told us about another route we could take to Sedona, one through the mountains, out of the wind.
Intuition speaks to each of us differently, in ways unique to who we are and what we love. In ways that only we can hear. But when you learn to listen, when you learn to follow, you will find yourself led to exactly where you need to be.
May you find your own turquoise path. May it lead you to joy.