The Journey Home

It’s all true.

Everything the lovers and dreamers said about following your heart, your north star, your bliss–it’s all true.  Every bit of it.  I’ve read all the books encouraging it; I’ve hoped and dreamed thIMG_1608at it was true; I was willing to believe it.  I just hadn’t seen it.  Until now.  There really is magic and mystery in following the path your soul longs to take.  Friends do appear to help you; the impossible becomes possible simply to speed your journey.  I have no idea how it works, but I am so very grateful that it does.

And yet, that is not quite true.  We all know that there is something magical and transformative about love.  And so why should it be any different when we fall in love with our path?  When you fall in love with where you are and what you are doing, all manner of things become possible.  You are transformed, and your life along with you.  So of course the lovers and dreamers were right all along.  Fall in love with your life, and miracles will surround you.

It took me a long time to find my path and fall in love with it.  If you are still seeking yours, I would say only this:  don’t give up.  Your journey is leading you to just where you need to go.  You may not realize it–I certainly didn’t, not for a very long time–but you are already on the road you are meant to take.  Every part of your life is part of the adventure.  Every part of it is, somehow, bringing you home.

The place where you are right now

God circled on a map for you.

Hafiz

Following The Turquoise Path

It was the windiest day I’ve ever seen.  I was driving through Winslow, Arizona with my mother, sister and aunt.  This was not a usual windstorm–the wind was so powerful that the air was thick with dust, trees were bent over and the interstate was shut down.  We were stuck, in a town that seemed to offer nothing but wind.  Businesses were boarded up, gas stations abandoned.  What was once a thriving railway stop was now empty, all but deserted.

We were tired, hungry and thirsty.  The wind buffeted the sides of the car so fiercely that staying where we were did not feel safe.  Yet we did not know where to go.  That was when I saw a sign, an arrow pointing towards “The Turquoise Room.”

Most of the town’s restaurants and shops appeared to be closed; there was no way to know that this one would be any different.  But I have always loved the shades of blue and green, turquoise most of all.  These colors call to me, sing to me.  So I asked my mother, who was driving, to follow the sign.  It led us to a beautiful old hotel, housing a restaurant and bar called the Turquoise Room.  It was a place of beauty within the windstorm.  A place of peace.  We settled in, and were served food and drinks just before the electricity died.  As we enjoyed our meal by candlelight, a friendly waiter told us about another route we could take to Sedona, one through the mountains, out of the wind.

Intuition speaks to each of us differently, in ways unique to who we are and what we love.  In ways that only we can hear.  But when you learn to listen, when you learn to follow, you will find yourself led to exactly where you need to be.

May you find your own turquoise path.  May it lead you to joy.

Journey Into Stillness: Beginnings & Endings

It has been 40 days since the beginning of our journey into stillness.  Whether you sat beneath a bodhi tree, welcomed the dawn with a favorite mantra, or simply contemplated the idea of meditation, you are welcome here, at the place where one ending and a new beginning meet.

We are surrounded by endings and beginnings, some obvious, some not.  In a world that is constantly shifting, constantly changing, constantly evolving, it is important to mark the transitions, to notice when the gate swings open and we walk into a new life, a new day, or simply a new moment in time.

Breathe into the changes.  Find your sea legs; let yourself bend with the curves.  It is all a dance, and you were born to be a dancer.

Wherever you find yourself in your own journey to stillness, I hope it brings you joy and peace.  As for me, I will continue practicing the ways of stillness.  I will continue watching how one ending flows into a new beginning.  I will continue to fall deeper in love with the moments that hold me, and to share with you what I find along the way.

Namaste.

A Journey Into Stillness

I went into the desert because I wanted to live, as Thoreau said, “deliberately.”  I wanted to hear with the ears of a poet, see with the eyes of an artist, feel with the heart of a lover.  I did not want to dream about such things; I especially did not want to worry or grieve over them.  Those roads had never led me anywhere before.

So tell me, I said to my heart, what is it that you desire?  What is it that you are trying to tell me, and that I am not hearing over the roar of my daily life?

I don’t usually speak in words, came the soft but surprisingly clear answer.

That’s all right, I answered.  I’ll learn to translate.

We learn to listen by opening to stillness.  By greeting the entirety of the moment before us, all of ourselves, all that surrounds us.  When you open to the fullness of the moment you are in, you touch eternity.  You feel, you know, that you are surrounded by Love.

Will you journey with me?

On May 15th, I am going to begin a 40 day journey into stillness.  40 days is considered a sacred number in many traditions–for example, it was after meditating under a bodhi tree for 40 days that the Buddha obtained enlightenment.  Although I meditate regularly–usually for at least 5 or 10 minutes a day–for these 40 days I am committing to a more devoted practice.

Later this week, I will write about the various forms of meditation I have practiced, resources that have guided me, and the ways I have discovered to form a practice that can connect you to yourself, to the Divine, to the presence of Love.  I hope that it will inspire you to join me on this journey.  Whether you take it in silence, or choose to share your path with others below, on Facebook or on Twitter, we will journey together.

Breathe in stillness.

Breathe out love.

Namaste.

Lotus Flower

Pure beauty, floating serenely on water sparkling with light, does not begin its journey warm, cradled, safe.  No, its roots lie far below the surface, in the dark, cold mud of the earth.  Its seed lies dormant, often for many years.  One day it pushes up, through the mud, through the dark, and reaches the light above.  Only then does it bloom, full of beauty, a symbol of peace and enlightenment.

A lotus flower is not beautiful in spite of the mud, but because of it.  It is the earth that gives it the strength to journey towards the light.  We are the same–it is our past, our struggles, our darker experiences that teach us our abilities.  That send us on our journey toward love.  We learn to reach for the light, to express our beauty, only after we have traveled through times of darkness and uncertainty.

We do not always see our paths.  We do not see the evolving, unfinished design.  Yet the Designer does not fail us.  Trust.  Accept.  Practice faith.  Or don’t, and that will be part of the journey, too.

There will come a time, a time beyond time, when we will be one with ceaseless, passionate joy.  Until then, embrace the uncertainty.  Embrace the many-faceted experiences of your life, for none will ever come quite the same way again.  Love it all, even when love seems distant and cold.  It never is.

Cracked

There was once a crack in the mirror of a powerful and beautiful queen.  When she looked into the glass, seeking confirmation of her beauty, she saw instead the image of another:  Snow White.  Because of the crack in the mirror–a crack in her own soul–she did not understand what she saw.  She did not realize that what we see in others is a reflection of ourselves.

We doubt our power when we forget to use it.  We doubt our beauty when we look for it outside of ourselves.  And so the queen believed that her youth and beauty were gone to another, and determined to kill the young Snow White.  But Snow White was the image the queen saw when she looked into the glass–how could she kill Snow White without killing a part of herself?

As for Snow White, the queen’s pursuit sent her on a journey of discovery.  She began as a victim, alone and hunted through a dark forest, and emerged a queen in her own right, sure of her own strength and power.  Two faces in the glass; two journeys of discovery.  Both are two sides of the same coin.  We all have power and beauty within us.  When we see the gifts of others as a part of our own light, our power and beauty grow.  When we see others as separate, as a threat, an enemy to be destroyed, we can only destroy ourselves.

We are surrounded by mirrors, constantly reminded of who we are and what we have within us.  The beauty you see in others is a reflection of the beauty that is within you.  The power you see in others is a reflection of the power that lies within you.  The whole world is your mirror.  Instead of asking who is the fairest of them all, ask instead to understand that the fairest is the one who sees beauty in others as well as in his or herself.

Of Dragons & Sirens

Peace is not freedom from pain, but transcendence.

Pain can be an invitation, a call to adventure, an opportunity to forgive and to heal.  No one lives free from pain; no one can help but cause pain.  We all must, at times, play the muse to another’s story, whether we intend to or not.  Think of them–the evil stepmothers, the dragons, the sirens.  They are the ones who send the call, who propel the heroes and heroines into the realm of adventure and possibility.  They are the ones who open the door to the bright, messy world we call life.  They are the fire of change.  Why fear playing the part of fire?

Play your part as openly and truthfully as you know how, choose love over fear and be quick to forgive.

Echoes

In this fleeting moment
What extravagant respite
As blooming surf speaks its
Mystical passage across
The undreamed depths.
- from Laguna Beach

Echoes of the future, echoes of the past, meet here, in the present.  What better home could you have?  What will you create next, along with the Universe?  What game will you play?  How will you love?  How will you dance?  What will you grow into, and what stories will you tell about it?

Wake up, and all things are possible.  Love is endless.  We are divine and free.  In this moment, hold eternity and know its name:  Love.

It is not a mystic’s dream or a poet’s wit to say that all can be found in this moment.  What is this moment but the meeting ground of past and present?  They greet one another like old friends, easy in each other’s company.  In this moment lie all the secrets of the world–of all worlds.  But know this:  you are not the unraveller of secrets.  You are the secret.  This is why there can never be an end to mystery.  You know in your heart that, as with all good secrets, the joy lies in the search, the adventure, the discovery.  What lies at the end of your searching is, whatever else it might be, an ending.  And for heroes, storytellers and dreamers, those are always better left unhurried.

Into The Labyrinth

Ariadne was a princess of Crete, daughter of Minos, the king that created the labyrinth that housed the Minotaur.  There is a dark family history here–the Minotaur, half-man and half-bull, was the son of a pure white bull and the queen, Ariadne’s mother.  He was a monstrous creature who devoured innocent men and women, and so was imprisoned within a dark and twisting labyrinth far beneath the palace.

The hero Theseus arrived from Athens intent on destroying the monster.  For love of him, the princess Ariadne betrayed her father and family and promised the hero her help.  She gave Theseus a ball of red thread, and told him that if he would unwind it as he made his way through the labyrinth, he would then be able to follow the thread out again.

Did Theseus need the red thread?  Or was Ariadne’s gift one of hope and comfort?  A labyrinth, unlike a maze, is not always a place of dead-ends and twisting turns.  A labyrinth may be a direct, although curving, journey to the center of the self, a winding path that is nevertheless sure in its destination and in the return.  It is, in fact, a mirror of our own lives.  We can see ourselves as lost in a frightening maze, unsure of the terrors around the next corner.  Or we can see ourselves in a true labyrinth, in which we cannot see what lies ahead but know we will ultimately be led to the center of our souls, and back again.  The fact that we cannot see what is coming next is the gift of time.

We fear that, buried deep within our souls, far below the realm of our daily lives, there lives within us a beast, an unknown and unfaced aspect of ourselves that cannot be controlled.  But into the labyrinth we must go, as Theseus did, to face the part of ourselves that we would hide.

Whatever the Minotaur represents, and whether his home was a maze or a labyrinth, Theseus took Ariadne’s thread with him and was able to slay the beast.  On finding his way safely out, from darkness into the light, he stole away with Ariadne, sailing back towards Athens with the promise that he would make her his wife.

And then he left her, alone and sleeping, on the shore of a small island.  Some versions of the tale say he was unwillingly swept away in a storm, in grief over her loss; others that he had no care for her and abandoned her at the first opportunity.  And yet other versions claim that he was forced to leave by the God of Wine, Dionysus, who loved her and desired her for himself.

When Ariadne awoke, alone on the sandy beach, she thought herself abandoned and betrayed, whatever the reality might have been.  She had left her family, her home, her life, to sail away with a man who did not or could not love her as she loved him.  She did not realize that, whatever Theseus’ intent, a better future awaited her.  One in which she was the chosen, the beloved, of a god, brought into the heavens and made a goddess in her own right.  Her wedding crown, the Corona, was placed in the night sky as a constellation, as a tribute to the endless love between Dionysus and Ariadne.

Like Psyche, Ariadne could not have known what future awaited her; none of us can.  But it is usually better than we could ever hope or imagine.

The Way

“You don’t choose a life.  You live one.”  –The Way

Every journey is a pilgrimage.  We may seek different things–love, healing, truth, knowledge of ourselves–but it is at the places where our journeys intersect that we find our answers.  No one journeys alone.

The Way, written and directed by Emilio Esteves and starring Martin Sheen, is a beautiful illustration of the soul’s pilgrimage.  It chronicles the story of a man, Tom, who decides to walk the famous Camino de Santiago, from France through Spain, in honor of his son’s desire to complete that historic journey.  Along the way, he meets fellow pilgrims in search of their own answers, their own healing, their own truth.

It is a wonderful story, and it can be viewed on more than one level.  The first is the story of a grieving man and the adventures he encounters, the people he befriends.  On another level, Tom’s companions can be seen as manifestations of his own soul, reflections of the deeper yearnings for peace we all share.  (*Warning:  I will not give away any plot details, but some of the themes discussed below may foreshadow the story.)

There are three companions.  The first is an Irishman, a writer suffering from writer’s block, seeking stories.  The second, who usually wears red, walks the Camino de Santiago to lose weight for his wife, and is described by the Irishman as one “for whom kindness is an instinct.”  The third, a woman, claims that her journey is to quit smoking, but her past is full of abuse and loss.

They are the mind, the heart and the body.  Just as Dorothy’s companions sought a mind, a heart and courage from Oz, Tom’s companions seek healing of the very same things.

The journey of the mind is always to learn to trust our creativity, and to receive permission, whether from ourselves or others, to speak the truth.

The journey of the heart is to discover that the love we long for is already within us.  We must learn to love ourselves as well as we love others.

And the journey of the body is to find the courage to heal from our past traumas and rise again.

At the center of the story is the soul.  Tom is a true pilgrim, because he does not journey for himself, but for another.  What he must learn is that all journeys are taken together.  Which is to say, that to journey for another is also to journey for oneself.

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