Endless Love

Love is a gift.  Not a promise.

The only promise is this:  that love will never end.  It may change forms.  It may not appear in the way you expect.  It may surprise you, challenge you, change you.  But it will not end.  All it asks is that you say yes to the gift, without clinging to it.  Clinging to it denies what it is–ceaseless, bottomless, endless–and kills what it might become.

Be grateful for all of the love in your life, whether it comes from a cherished partner, a new friend, or the breeze of a summer day.  The more love you are willing to accept into your heart, the more love will appear.  Cherish whatever form love takes, and whatever ways it grows and changes.  Surrender to the love you already have, and you will never find yourself without it.

We cannot capture time, cannot stop the world.  Savor what is here and now.  Open your heart to what is before you and within you.  Learn to listen and to wait.

Nothing belongs to you.  Why would you want to own anything?  You would only become a slave, rather than a lover.

Everything Begins Within

Years ago, alone on a long car trip, I mused about my ideal partner.  I saw someone compassionate and kind, easy with himself and able to put others at ease as well.  I saw someone gentle, open to new ideas, able to enjoy the simple moments of life and to help others do the same.  And then, in a flash, I realized–I wasn’t fantasizing about a love affair.  I was seeing a vision of who I wanted to be.

In both our daydreams and our waking lives, we often project onto others both our hopes and our fears.  We are annoyed by qualities we fear we possess; we long for people who embody the type of person we want to be.  But because no relationship can ever replace the one you have with yourself, you cannot find without what you have not found within.

Once we realize that, and learn to cultivate within ourselves the qualities we admire in others, we find that we are the ones we have been waiting for.  And that others who have those same qualities are drawn to us effortlessly, naturally, reflecting back to us the person we are, the person we have become.

You don’t need anyone to complete you; you are already complete.  Everything you long for, everything you long to be, is already a part of you, waiting for you to realize it.  I once played a game with family and friends, asking each one what quality they most wished they possessed.  Without exception, every single person answered with something that they not only already had, but had in abundance.  One, the soul of kindness and patience, wanted to be more kind and patient.  Another, always organized to the last detail, wanted to be more organized.  The life of the party wanted to be friendlier.  I said I wanted to be calmer, serene no matter the circumstances; everyone laughed.

Let your friends and partners be your playmates, sources of joy and strength in your life, but remember that everything you long for already exists within your own soul.  Once you do, you cannot help but find it everywhere you look.


Joy, kindness & love–my mother & me, 1979.

For my mother–my muse and inspiration for joy, kindness and love, and for all the mothers who see and nurture the beauty of their children.

Magic lives in the most simple acts of kindness. When we are kind, when we notice the kindness of others, we invite more beauty and grace into the world.

Kind people are more beautiful to us. We trust them, we cherish them, even if their gifts are not always trumpeted. True kindness requires intelligence and courage. It is a quiet power, but one that is unique and formidable. We love kind people; we want to be around them. We love ourselves when we act from a place of compassion. When we act from a place of love, we understand the divinity in all things, feel the oneness that mystics and sages sing about.

Acts of kindness do not ignore the self–after all, the way we treat ourselves mirrors the way we treat others. We cannot deal with ourselves cruelly and still be good to others, or the other way around.

But kindness can often go unnoticed, simply because we forget to look for it. We notice when others neglect us, when a careless word causes us pain. Why not look instead for the ways in which we are loved, the ways in which our love is reflected back to us? Assume that others are good and kind; assume always that others are doing the best they can as they walk their own paths. Trust the beauty and goodness in yourself, and don’t be afraid to share it.

“My religion is kindness.” ~Dalai Lama